Monday, February 16, 2009

7 days later. January 2nd. Discussion with internist.

"Marc, how are you doing? You have been on the anti biotic and the Vicadin for 7 days now?"
"Pretty good, pain is managed and the swelling has gone from orange size to mandarin size.....ha-ha"

"Marc this nothing to laugh at. The swelling should have been gone completely as should the pain. I know you can handle pain like few others but on a scale of one to ten, where are you at. Let me rephrase that, were would I be at?"

I paused. "It is not Orchitis, huh?"
"NO, how's your pain?"
"It's bad, I am taking 3 Vicadin a day to get through work?"
"YOU ARE WORKING?"

"YOU ARE A MORON, get yourself checked out immediately. What's the matter with you? This is your testicle we are talking about. If I wasn't 150 miles away and half your size I would come and kick your ass. Make the appointment and ask for a testicular ultrasound, do you hear me?"
"Yes, sir, I'll keep you posted"

"Marc, before you go, have you had pain in the past you have not told me about?"
"Yes, about 6 months ago I had pain and swelling for 2 days but I had gotten into the car wrong and hurt them that way and the next day when I was dead lifting I crashed the bar into them. I thought I had simply bruised the area. The pain and swelling went away and there was not hardening or lump after. I checked"

"Any other time?"

Sigh.

"Yeah, three months later it got really bad again and the selling and pain lasted 4 days this time. Advil took care of it though". Hesitation.

"You are holding out on me. This time your testicle was heavier correct?"
"Yes, but there was no pain and I had gotten behind at work and I got the kids to take care of, you know?"

I will spare you the yelling that followed.
"REPEAT THIS TO YOUR DOCTOR AND GET THAT ULTRASOUND". Click.

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